the beauty of nature (why i'm here)

Location

10458
United States
40° 51' 43.8444" N, 73° 53' 9.636" W

part of why i'm here is
to enfold the beauty of nature
with beautiful things
its always dazzling to see..........
the trees
the flowers
the water
the breezing wind
the mighty sun
the brightfulness of beauty
the light of nature
and the stature of fresh trees
brings me joy from earth
with its blossom of flowers
they have the power
to breeze away from any curse
the smell brings romanticism
to my life
because nature of all creation
is beautiful in my sight
have flowers that grows
there are flowers that die
and those will be the years
i continue to gain more strength, more power

Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

Eunoia

 

that's all?  these are only suggestions from my experience which may differ from yoursyou may be a genius in which I am sorry for this critique please don't take me too seriously first of all you are very repetitivewhich lessens your power with words.  but also you switch from general to using imagery? i think we can get the message that you are being general without saying so.  i like your poems but this one needs some work. you have great vocabulary mostly though. next, beautiful?show me! you can't say that without making your reader question. frankly, its like a fairy tale.  you never know what it looks like. the earth is beautiful, i know, but this poem isnt reflecting that. else you need a plot, act like you are trying to convince an alien in a letter that earth isn't just pollution but beauty.  you need a story but there is no gradual change of thought in this story, no development, you don't really say anything. work on your character or maybe a compare and contrast poem . i want to read a conclusion, most novice poets start with nature by it self i think. (even me! i love nature!) but i want to see more.  i see that you tried that but you don't go into detail.  you have really nice phrasing here and there and its all and all really nice poem.  heres some questions:why is you character struggling or in need of strength? what does he / she want? how did he/ she realize the beauty in nature?  who are they talking to----generally/figuratively/literally? where is she/he? when is she/he? the future? the past?

MVP-Most Valuable Poet

i was reading your comment and i needed clarity in some of your feedback

the wording was a little off

this poem reflects the beauty of nature in my eyes

there are many ways to view nature depending on one's style

i don't personalize what people comment on my poems

i will not accept insults from nobody (i'm not assuming you are)

just saying in general

what i would suggest is read this poem again and provide me feedback from a different standpoint

plus, this is my 1st poem writing about nature (diversifying my poetry)

 

alex80

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mattrush

Nice efforts friend. Well written poem. I really appreciate it.You beautifully express the Nature in your lines.

 

 

MVP-Most Valuable Poet

it's from the heart

i wanted to diversify my thoughts and connected to things people can relate to

check out my other poems i wrote

thank you for the comment

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