Oh My Gosh, I Hate Myself!

I am hideously atrocious.

Why can’t I look like her?

She is gorgeous; a size zero; tall; model-like.

Everyone adores her.

Why can’t I look like her?

I want to have breasts and curves like her.

I want to have fair porcelain skin.

And long, golden, flowing hair flying in the wind.

Why can’t I look like her?

I mean like, I go to the gym three times a week.

Eat one apple slice in the morning,

A rice cake for lunch,

And a yogurt for dinner.

Why can’t I look like her?

I send myself to the bathroom and do all the binge eating that I can.

I smear a lot of make up on my face.

I look at myself in the mirror and…

And try to tell myself that I am pretty. 

That I am beautiful.

I look at myself with disgust because I keep telling myself lies.

I cry and let the mascara drip off my face.

I shake my head and continue to bully myself by calling myself,

Fat; imperfect, a mistake, I need surgery!

I don’t like what I see in the mirror.

Why can’t I look like her?

My parents, friends, and peers tell me I am beautiful.

I don’t see it!

So I cut myself and throw myself at boys because,

I feel that they will give me the confidence and attention that I need to call myself pretty.

I just want everyone else to see me like they see her.

Why can’t I look like her?

So many girls lack the self confidence that they once possessed as little girls.

They cry themselves to bed at night because they feel they don't meet the expectations of society.

Society fails to see the poor influences they leave on these girls through social media and fashion.

The only change that needs to be made is the revelation of true beauty in all people.

If I could change just one imperfection in this world, it would be to open everyone's eyes and allow them to see what I see...

Flawless beauty in all of us.