she left and i stole her favorite color

powder blue is mine now.

too pretty, too special to get stuck in the sap of last year’s memories

how was that only last year? 

and, for the first autumn in forever, happy is here

it’s been so long. it still feels uncomfortable sometimes

stretching the corners of my shrunken septembers

wearing thin the threads of my octobers 

making room for itself where there never used to be space

there’s something else, too.

a new girl.

and i wonder how i’m supposed to know what’s missing

is there something missing?

i forget the question when she kisses my neck

so i ask her to kiss my neck more

and i think so much nowadays.

when my brain isn’t swallowed by a grey haze, there’s so much room for my thoughts

i think about kissing her knuckles.

that feels like enough, somehow