Disillusioned
By: Darlyn C. Lojero
one minute, you are looking up at the sky
admiring those tiny specks you called distant fire
another minute, and you see none
but the drooping eyes of the gods
you failed to burn incense for
my beautiful, I am sorry
but I tasted the betel nut meant for your gods
and now they pulled you away
where I cannot bear look at you.
I did not lit them for you.
dearest, you can stop believing me now
for yesterday, when you were asleep,
I stopped living.
Dare do I? the heavens must've decided to take a spin.
my beautiful, have I been admiring for so long
that I did not notice?
Am I looking at something,
but seeing something else?
How should I know? it's already closed to noon and
here, where I stand the earth has turned red.
...I am still trapped
here in yesterdays' young night
counting the images you, once, pointed out-
you dont believe them, yourself
but why let me?
dearest,
this isnt yours
nor mine!
we sold our being
for a second or two
of what we call breathing.
I am hoarding silence
wreathing your name with the hero I honor in you-
the hero, I refused to let go.
You could've let me burn incense
or knot hundred year old roots
and mouth my prayers
-but you woke me up.