The Freshman

In school a freshman is a first year student.  It can also mean a newcomer or novice.  It means old friends.  It means new friends.  In 2020 it means teams and classes and parties that will never happen because the world has gone virtual.

It is a name given to all first year high school students.  It is name given to me this year like so many other students, yet it is a lie because there is no high school to attend.

My high school has a good reputation.  It has a strong academic and sports history and boasts its leadership among others in the county.  My high school, I would have liked to get to attend it.  Instead it was closed in a haste of fear and never reopened.

The story goes there was a great sickness and it swept over the entire world.  I wonder if a high school can feel pain?  I wonder if it misses it's inhabitants?  The freshman.  I have inherited the title, but I don’t want to inherit it virtually. 

On TV they make fun of the freshman.  They stuff them in lockers and tease them at lunch.  They call them names and they make them seem lonely.  In my home, being a freshman means responsibility.  It means my grades matter even though I struggle without a classroom.  It’s said quickly and with meaning, but not as much meaning as my sister’s title, the senior.  The senior is uglier and sharper than my title, but then it disappears in a flurry of college acceptance letters.  The freshman has four more years to endure.

I would like to give myself a new title, a name more like the real me, the one nobody sees.  The soccer athlete, the musician, the friend, the curious observer, the artist, yes anything but the virtual freshman will do.