Im shy at first

proud and silent I sit there

beaming with an internal thirst

i am nothing but an animal caught in a snare.

 

sometimes i wish life would knock on my door

to scream, shout, spew happiness into my soul

to show god and hell, and explain what I'm here for;

to shine bright like gold or tumble and crash into a puddle of coal?

 

Friends and family are just words

Happy Optimistic Proud are all actions they see

I show my personality in thirds;

Positive and cheery; unexceptional; who I want to be.

 

My past is a trap inside a trap inside a trap

My brain rolls to a never ending stop.

All i crave is a simple map; 

Something, anything, to show that my life will not flop.

 

I cannot show my true self,

When I myself am not done with the puzzle.

Scientists do not show the unfinished work on the shelf, 

Therefore I choose to wear an internal muzzle.