getting lost within you
your soul 
your heart 
your touch
required for me to lose who I was
as I gained you
falling deeper into you
becoming wrapped around your finger
like a ribbon 
serving as a reminder
of my feelings for you, 
but losing myself
who I am
who I WAS.

it’s said that the people awake with their thoughts at 2 am 
are either lonely or in love
maybe I was a little bit of both
torn between feeling trapped 
and at home with you 
falling into your step
but dazed as I struggle to grasp 
how you feel,
did thoughts of me keep you awake,
your heart racing
or did you finding yourself asleep and at ease with no mentions of me?

falling for you was a quick one
an abrupt change, 
falling into love but also my demise 
but I was tired of falling,
it was about time for me to stand up

Bukowski said
“find what you love and let it kill you”
that’s what I’m doing right?
in all those films and novels, 
love is: 
louder,
life on fire,
sighing in your sleep,
walking with a bounce in your step,
the love helping you grow
like a sunflower 
with us, it wasn’t that
it was a street
which I found myself driving down
but it was a one-way dead end 
and you refused to show me the map

I loved you,
all of you,
and it was exhausting 
not a rainstorm, but a hurricane 
flooding my heart,
to where I could no longer breathe
drowning me 
helping me to realize why they name storms after people

but I finally stand up 
again
and again
after each fall
I’m getting tired of asking myself:
where do I stand with you?
now I understand:
no more standing,
time to start walking