I sit in my mothers car talking to my best friend’s boyfriend about life.
I see barge lights reflecting off the river through my rearview mirror,
and I wish that she was sitting next to me right now.
Everything becomes blurry as my tear filled eyes adjust,
I realize I am pouring my entire heart out to a complete stranger,
but it doesn’t matter because crying in front of him is easier than her.
After ten years of begging for opportunities, I’m afraid to leave this town.
I wish I could tell her that life is changing, and now isn’t the time to be distant.
A lump gathers in my throat as I tell him, “just tell her that I miss her,”
but I know deep inside not to expect any messages any time soon.
She has her new hobbies, and I have plans to move away and be alone for awhile.
For something that I thought I desperately needed, it comes at too great of a cost.
I would do anything to keep them, if they would take me…
But I know now, already, that my past is too far gone.