It sounds cliche but i like it that way my dad left when I wasnt able walk he knew the consequences but still never looked backed, my way to cope was hurting myself the blade to my skin put me on another lever that was better than any high I experencied. Maybe it was me, Maybe it was my mom but I never blamed him. Thoughts in my mind had me racing through time trying to find the reason never escaping the sole crime. I hoped no one would see until one day she caught me.

My mom was cooking and cleaning and I was day dreaming forgot to wear a long sleeve then she saw the true me she cried and she wept I didnt know what to expect and I look back and I know now that im worth more to myself than I thought as a child I dont need him to be strong because i know now that I have my mom.

Not a day goes by that I don't think why but who has time for all that stress and that feeling of being oppressed My worst enemy was blade so tempting to run to him when i was down cutting the pain so I wouldnt have to feel down. 

Sometimes i run back in an impulse thought because in my mind he holds me tighter than my dad even though his pain hurts at least the blade is there when I call. Running red down my light arm it feels so good im in a trance as it runs down I see my reflection buts its not me its the person i never wanted to be.

Its the person I made fun of its the person that I thought was weird and would run from its the person that society brought down pointed the finger to and made them turn around it was me and it was scary because sometimes without realizing it the people that u run from are right next to you in the same race.