Louis XVI, Disdained and Dishonored

Sun, 09/01/2013 - 12:29 -- Mvieck

(*Camille Desmoulins 1760-1794, French journalist and politician)

 

Revolution’s victory cry

We shout “Death to the King!” and “Viva La France!”

Not once allowing ourselves a moment’s breathe.

 

For France do we fight, not our leaders;

We stand in unison, our people a beacon of hope

From the steeple of Notre Dame I gaze upon my city.

 

Set afire not by the inaction of our hierarch,

But by the spark of our governance’s avidity.

 

Mirabeau’s speeches fired up the people so,

Yet parliament will not listen.

 

Aristocrats and tax officials now tremble in fear

Marching onto Tuileries, France shall be given her judgment.

 

Louis XVI now weeps at his tribunal

And I, Desmoulins*, will at last have freed my country.

 

Comments

JosephYarwick

This is a great poem and a great idea, the only constructive criticism I can point out is that you may not want to be as literal. writing a story is easy, but making that story into a poem is supposed to be difficult, which is why, in my opinion, I think you should spice up some of the word choice and and figurative language. I feel as if it would be twice as excellent if you matched the excitement of the topic throughout each each line. Other than that, good stuff!

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