Masks
Mulan once sang of her reflection
And the words wrapped themselves around me
Like a ribbon tripping me at the shin
Not knowing who I could be
Gay, trans, lesbian, bi
All these new terms as I enter Middle school
I was so confused and people would make me cry
Letting their words get to me, I was a fool
So I held the only friend I had:
A cold, silver blade against my wrist
Numbing my pain and ignoring how sad-
The way my brain was fogged with mist
I wore long sleeves, turned down beach trips
Plastered a smile on my face like masquarade
Even when my wrists were full and I moved to my hips
But it wasn't enough to hold this facade
I got worse, stopped my fake smiles
The stories I heard of teens killing themselves
Made my heart race for miles
And I stared at the pills on the shelves
The night I did it, I'll never forget
I said goodbye to my family before bed
Hugging my mom tightly, my eyes wet
When I took the handful of pills, no tears were shed
But then I realized, and it was a shock
I wanted to live and this world i would miss
So I called 911 and they told me to talk
I was so tired, I felt deaths harsh kiss
The rest was a blur, but I got better
I was happy, most of my smiles were real
And even when I said "I'm fine." I was sure
My happiness was one thing the darkness wouldn't steal
Now I have triggers, but they're alright
I relapse occasionally but I know I'm recovering
For I know my future looks bright
With my education just on my head hovering
So now I post this poem to you,
To share my hardships with the world
A scholarship would be nice, too
But helping people makes it worthwhile
Comments
Login or register to post a comment.
This is really beautiful, anytime you feel bad you should read this again to remind yourself how talented you are.
thelastweasley
Thank you, I have hard days and write how I felt in stories or poems. I just started to enter them on here recently.
I didn't think it was that great but I reread it and it gave me chills.
I appreciate the comment, it feels nice someone took the time to read it and replied