I was taught to despise myself

because if I ever felt an ounce of confidence I walked on a thin line of conceit and vanity

I didn't dare want to insinuate that my body is the embodiment of self-love

 

But since when was confidence a sin?

 

Once I felt good I'm mistaken as

Narcissistic 

Egotistical

Cocky

 

 

Why is loving who I am an offense to others

These accusations make you so numb that it hurts 

But it's okay, because I comfort myself with the fact that no one can ever love me more than me

 

I'm all I have my body, my personality: me

These big thighs, chubby face, introverted qualities are calculated to equal beauty

There's nothing I want to change because there's nothing to change

 

My body maps out constellations

The Big Dipper is traced on my back

The hem of the skyline crumbles in my hand

I won't drown in petty expectations and overlook the miracle of my existence

I don't need to spend hours looking for the dress that makes me look good for you, I'll wear that dress for myself because it happens to make ME feel good

 

If you think I look bad, go ahead think what you want

Your negativity can't reach me 

You can't make fun of my flaws

My defects are my assets

I love every inch of my body 

I accepted myself

I don't need to wait for someone to love me

 

In every moment I love myself

 

I was put in this body for a reason and it treats me like a treasure

Everyday I wake up reassured because my bones support me, my blood pumps for me

The only place I ever truly feel safe is with myself

Every word I speak is a melody 

My eyes sparkle with the ferocity of life

The shine of my smile rivals the sun 

I'll never change my physicality 

Standards don't define me

I don't need to meet credentials

Everything surrounding me invites me to grow

Nothing can tear down my unblemished buildings of confidence 

 

But wait, let's get this straight I'm not filled with conceit 

 

This isn't egotism 

It's loving one self

I'm evolving because I learned to accept myself

I don't have to pretend, I can just believe and say 

 

I am whole