My Addiction
Is an addiction free admission
to admitting something's missing
Or am i obtuse with an excuse
i wanna be acute, I'll listen
Cause my missions disposition
Is from a condition conflictin
With ambitions assistance
sayin good riddance to resistance
And splurge on the urge then perge
guilt when sober over my fault
trapped as the leaders subject
In my self created one man cult
And I have to halt, cause now
I have a living child
So I gotta be responsible and sober
Not weak to temptation and wild
But I don't care if I'm exiled
from the place i go high where denials a smile
Where fast talking, twitches
and sweating pile a while
But a while could be 3 days
lived in wut feels like an hour
Now ima broke, shameful liar
whos sad and smells sour
And is in need of a shower
But at least i am aware
so tired but too wired to
Retire so i cant help in desire stare
At the phone while trying to talk
Myself out of calling for more
Only to sadly give in just like I've
Done Many times before
But ur never lonely when ur
high Never insecure or scared
Ur ok with ur problems goin rotten
at the bottom, and there's
No pressure just pleasure, where u
Treasure having no treasures
But it all works against u when
ur sober and not feelin so clever
And wutever u endeavor seems
To never leave u short
An excuse so u can abuse wut u use
when u drink pop and snort
But Thats wut i want to abort
Cause I'm pro choice on the matter
But no matter how hard I try
Temptation always seems to lather
Wut it splatters to scatter and
shatter the hope
Of being drug free and still love me
And cope without dope
But hope is dead like the pope
Wheres da rope so i can join the dead
Is the need to feed temptations
Greed a chemical imbalance in my head
or am I simply weak,
Empty and lost forever
I'm so scared i won't repair
the despair of being impaired ever
Which should be a good enough
reason to stop Like the law to those
Who hang out in parks in a trench coat
running up to ppl and expose
His genitals once his trench coat
Opens up to show he's naked
Can I use my childhood as a
Scapegoat? or hip hop music for makin
Me turn to drugs
Which does make me a disappointment
poisoned with the cure cuz
My decease is the ointment
And my pillow is moistened
As it absorbs my tears
Like an alcoholic
Who's liver absorbs beer
And so of course it's clear
The end is near unless
I quit the shit that insists i don't
Resist only to leave me a mess
And to those that struggle in depth
With These same troubles in life
Lets either help each other stop or
help the other get a better price
That's A joke, I hope,
Just know I'm coping too
And u are not alone even if u think
u need drugs to feel that its true
Wish I could say more
wish I could say something better
But I struggle with sobriety in
Society every day and will forever
Cuz my addiction has a hold of
Me like moms do newborns at nite
It feels like my soul crumbles to get
Smoked in Rob fords pipe
Knowing I'm blowing my chance
To victory dance and advance2 my goals
But I don't sneak out to seek help
cuz I would freak out I know
So I deny
i get high And i do it so well,
I sometimes believe my own lies...
Avoiding the problem that still dwells
So this is for the closet druggie
The secretive one
Who thinks its better to hide it
Trust me I tried it, it's just a loaded gun
Without a safety, so maybe
It'll kill u accidentally if not
The addiction surely will
so open up to someone u trust and talk
I wrote this for me....
I wrote this for you
I wrote this for the closet addict who
Itching and Twitching like he's
being electrocuted and soon
his eyell look like a
character from an anime cartoon
Til he grinds his teeth til there gone
and loses every friend he had
All his possessions all his savings
His siblings mom and his dad
And all hell be left with is wut I leave
on the stage when I'm done this piece
Incase u cant visualize it
Ill do u a favor, and leave
....for all the jps who never had an hdf... I'm lost forever