There is a card in my pocket, that certifies me as an anime geek

 

It gives me the right by law to roleplay, cosplay and constantly shout Baka at passing

 

Strangers

 

 

And when I gossip about gaijin with my ninja brothers and a bully barges in looking to

 

Beatdown me and my boys I just whip out my card like a shuriken and scream like a 

 

Lord of the Rings battle cry “back off man, I’m certified”

 

 

This card is my defense against the dark arts of insults and condescension

 

But all the other denominations of nerd, geek and dork are still as vulnerable as muggles

 

 

Cards need to be created for computer wizards, Shakespearean thespians, a capella

 

beatboxers, literary geniuses

 

and yes!

 

even the kid that still lives in his mother’s basement

 

 

What we really need is an all inclusive weirdo package

 

I don’t want to be limited to Naruto references, believe it!

 

 

I want to laugh at the jokes in Big Bang Theory before they are explained to Penny!

 

I want to study game theory for the sole purpose of never losing another game of Magic:

 

The Gathering

 

 

 

 

 

 

To complain about how Chris Nolan did not use the name Dick Grayson, for all the non-

 

nerds that is Robin’s actual name

 

And never again will I suffer in silence while ignorant teenage girls gush over how hot

 

that dude Anakin Skywalker from Star Trek is

 

 

 

I mean seriously!

 

Spock never set a lightsaber to stun and Obi-Wan never asked Scotty to beam him up so

 

he could tell Yoda to live long and prosper

 

 

I better be more careful,  I’m only certified as an anime geek and if the frustrations I vent

 

don’t surround samurai and women with physiques that defy the laws of physics then I

 

open myself up to what the courts have deemed acceptable ridicule

 

 

 

But not for long

 

I plan on launching a reform program to extend coverage

 

For example,

 

We can create a customizable card for all the tech geeks to make up for apples dream

 

crushing rigidity

 

We would give them the right to chat about forums where people post their computer

 

code for chat boxes in a recursive algorithm of high tech bliss

 

We will draft a card on parchment for the poets

 

They will be free to rhyme all the time and actually alliterate audibly instead of locking

 

Up their poetic speech in the metaphorical prison that is their brain

 

 

And each card will be approved by the senate and rebels will be prosecuted

 

They will be taken before a judge and sentenced to rehab

 

This isn’t like sexual harassment where you sit in some BS seminar for an hour and learn

 

about feelings

 

 

I’m talking about sending them to AA – A-holes Anonymous

 

It’s a twelve step program to stone cold morality

 

Because we are not interested in revenge and punishment

 

We advocate understanding and coexistence

 

Don’t make any radical jumps here people, we are talking about social butterflies and the

 

kids they pick on

 

We are misunderstood, we are passionate about things that most people don’t care about,

 

we are proud

 

we are nerd