Only Eighteen
Dear Justin,
Only Fifteen
Still Learning How to Live
You taught me how to stay strong.
You gave me laughter and smiles.
During a time I only had sadness and grief.
You had me and I had you.
Only Sixteen
I'm trying to live
Trying to find the will to.
You showed me the will.
With your suspicious smirk
that would insinuate a devious plan
that would lead to the memories we made together.
You had me and I had you.
Only Seventeen
I've found the will to live.
I'm working on a dream.
And with you by my side
I know I can achieve anything.
My best friend.
My so called partner in crime as everyone would say.
The person I've shared everything with.
The person I look up to.
The person I admire most.
You had me and I had you.
Only Eighteen
I'm back to square one.
I should be happy.
I've made new friends. Shared new experiences. I've done better
Than I had ever done before.
But I can't be happy.
I can't smile.
Because you were only 18.
You had no dream.
You didn't see yourself achieving anything.
You lost your will.
You let the weight of the world that surrounded you
break you down until you felt nothing. Until you were so scared you
wanted to become nothing.
So you did.
Only Eighteen.
Now I don't have you.
Your Best Friend,
Leanne
Comments
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Lillybird17
I do really like this poem. It is repetitive enough to flow well and seem like a poem, but it isn't too saturated or deep. I wish that their was more figurative language in the poem - right now it seems very dry. You are trying to tell your readers a stroy instead of showing them, which is a mistake that all writers make, not just people who write fiction stories. The only other thing I have to say (which is really nitpicky) would be to change the numbers in the poem into words, like "only sixteen" in order to match the title. Again, I really do like this poem, and I am sorry for any loss or grief that lead to you writing this poem. Keep on writing! You can only get better if you continue to write. Good luck and happy writing!
-Lilly