I want a boy. -not a man.

I want someone who will tell me I'm beautiful just to get in my pants

I want someone who will stay JUST long enough for me to fall

then leave me with nothing 

no text, no call..

Give me a real jerk

Someone who makes mama uneasy and daddy homicidal

I want to be beat down

Broken and Hurt

Physically

Mentally

and most of all..

emotionally.

Give me someone who won't only make me feel like I'm nothing

but will make me believe it

believe so much that I start to crumble..

Crumble until I am like ash that is blown away by the wind only to be inhaled by people who told me I could do better,

I deserve better,

I AM better.

People too..absorbed in their own kindness to realize that they breathe in the essence of who I really am..

or at least..

who I was..

because I am no longer beautiful,smart, and talented.

no. I am not what they say..

I am only what he has made me to be.

I am a slave to his lust

a toy to satisfy his abuse

and a boost to his ego.

yeah..

this is exactly what I wanted..

who needs love?