i still fight
those faceless,
featureless, creatures,
the demons
that dwell
deep
within
my heart.

the foul
manifestations,
that deprive
my union,
keeping
my light
and
sould apart.

i know them,
not by sight,
not by touch,
taste, nor sound,

but by the weight
upon my soul
they bear
when other souls
are not around.

since i birthed,
my first thought
they prayed
to be my guide.

they prayed i'd turn left
from the refuge
of the right;

And they prayed i'd turn right
from the light
of the left side

whenever and
wherever
i step
i am still chained
by their direction;
their direction
and their depth

yet, still I step
like the present
into the past,
like a rabbit’s paw
silenced by a
single elephant’s pass

they leave me low
to share
the fate of the moon
how cruel
to be so bright,
but not so bright
as to inspire the noon.
forever doomed

to nurse their kindle
and never know
my own flame
yet today,
somehow;
someway
i nurse their kindle
just the same.

if only, i can
find the strength
to go left,
and not go right,
i will steady
my own course
and tread through
the dark, desert night

i will break ranks with the dark
to make tracks of my own
i will run towards what is me;
and to myself i will be known.

i will give birth to that fire
that reverses my fate
shaking, all that is dark
breaking, those shackles
i so hate.

if only,
for this moment,
for this day,
for this time,
tomorrow they can have
but today shall be mine.