Too Much
... and I keep pondering
over your 2 seconds
Who are you
and
Why do you bother to dissapoint me again?
after so long?
a spontaneous attempt for rescue,
to which I keep convincing myself would be the last,
setting a justified act,
in my own improbable realm...
The one where you decide to stay,
The one where I swallow my pride,
Why do I let it bleed into what we really are?
Why do I let it
abuse and
molest
my heart,
letting it play me like a puppet,
an act I reluctantly practiced for nevertheless
too much,
it will always be
too much.
too much to see,
too much to know,
I locked up the one you used to love,
because she gave in to your heart
too much...
So, how did she escape?
from a prison of fear and anger,
of your painted monster,
a lense of impurity,
all to reassure you?
How dare she remind me
of my sympathy?
When SHE is the one to BLAME?
When I AM the one to BLAME?
for my mistakes,
and for believing you are to blame too...
and for what knew,
in those 2 seconds...
a quick remark,
and your quick send off,
perhaps you too
understand it is too much,
knowing that somewhere
you too have locked up the one I used to love.
~ Mari