your smile

your laugh

the way you light my path

the subtle words

turn my stomach into 

a roller coaster

of want and need and denial

and self pity and self hate

your joy

your rage

the way you have

an unfair advantage

my stomach twists

and sweetly turns

before my emotions start to churn

as the tears well up

and pain spills out

i-

i decide its for the best

for your feelings to differ

and let myself feel replaced

a lie

'i like you'

but not before a goodbye