Attempt number what?

Attempt number one was in the third grade

the first time she called me useless because I couldn't do a braid

The second attempt was much later 

in the seventh grade when people behind my back snickered laughing at my pain

In eighth grade it wasnt me but someone else who almost took my life

bashing my head into the ground could to the trick alright

Attempt number three I was fourteen

just coming into acceptance with who I was supposed to be

Attempt number four 

my feet touched the floor

Attempt number five

she told my faggots shouldn't be alive

Attempt number six

sink to the bottom of the pool with feet tied to bricks

Attempt number seven

'jesus doesn't want you in heaven' 

Attempt number eight 

I got to our date too late

Attempt number 9 

A robin stopped me just in time

Attempt number ten 

'Please never scare me like that again...'