autism

autism is a spectrum disorder not a curable disease

I overthink the simplest things often blowing them out of proportion

Every little sound seems so much louder to me when a pen falls i hear a clatter while my classmates hear a tap

My poor skin once smooth and pretty is Now riddled with scars and scratches

being bullied because of my autism is A daily reminder i'm not normal

its not a choice not to communicate in truth I hate how socially inept i am it can really suck at times

I want to walk without thinking about not stepping on the sidewalk cracks

youch just tripped while writing this because if i step on a crack i have to go all the way back and start over

trivial activities like starting a conversation cause me anxiety

some days i am shaky all over from the anxiety caused by my efforts to blend in

each day leaves me mentally and emotionally drained from that constant battle to belong

I want to go about my day without having a meltdown

because of a slight schedule change

because i became overwhelmed easily

because i thought i did something wrong

my peers joke about my differences and it hurts

their harsh unaccepting words echo in my head driving me crazy

why dont people like me for who i am i dont understand

oftentimes i go home and cry because the words hurt me so

aaaaah im screaming internally because im so confused

Sometimes i wish it was all just a horrible nightmare but it's not

It's real and it can be quite a painful struggle

all i want is to belong and to do ¨normal things¨

There is no cure it s a part of me

It's  my  autism spectrum disorder