Ballerinas and shoe ties

after hearing words reach the point where sarcasm no longer hurts but blends into my blood stream as it sometimes does when i try my best not to overdose the cuts seems to bleed more frequently now it dances around my veins as bellerinas the night of the proformance with aching feet and sore ankles but still mange to twirl and widen their face till their bodies fall weak limp at the thought finding myself on a white bed and IVs hooked up to my body momma sitting next to me bed crying not being able to look her in the face i closed my eyes and questioned the Gods why me why couldnt i be like the children the seem so delightful they say ill be alright give a couple of stitches and morphine and send me home after checking to see if im suicidal being the smart me i laughed and said im fine just wanted to see how it felt but i obviously crossed too many lines not finding it funny i was discharged with looks of hatred coming from my mommas face i loved once but i never loved me and my thoughts came true once i left my body and the only way i would return is my blood started to dance if my face began to smile i guess it was the taunting the teasing youre so skinny the pretty girls ignoring me not knowing where it started was the truth but what hurts more was instead of helping me they teased me even more her mother is this and her father is gone her hair is black and feet are long they said things that i fear to repeat i dont know if it was because our skin was different or because i was just advanced but whether it was in school or over the net the editing of my pictures and my eating disorder becasue i started to look fat the cuts seemed to earse the pain if i seemed that i cut too deep it was fine with me while the blood exscaped so did the pain i promise im fine it doesnt bother me