becoming elijah

although born a female, there was something that i knew i knew that i was different, thoughts that stuck like glue. i put on all the dresses, i did just what they said, but every night i cried, i fought hard inside my head. i was not a girl, i was not a daughter. i didn't want to disappoint, never tell my father, As i've become older, the struggle ever showing, i didn't want to go my life afraid of ever knowing. i am now an Eli, i am not your daughter, i have never been and now i know although it will be harder to be taken seriously, to attempt to forget, although i've been attacked and bullied, i do not regret. This was never a 'choice,' i never chose my gender, i listened to my heart and mind, and it will stick forever.