On This Bench

On that bench I could hear

Basketballs bouncing like mad

The non-stop skidding of sneakers

Stomping and shrieks of glee-filled children

The underseving, toxic whispers being thrown my way

I flinch

I felt alone, targeted, anxious

I felt worthless

From then on I was left looking for something

On this bench I can hear

Cars tredding on concrete covered in rain water

My plastic bag rippling in the wind

A dog yapping in the distance

Drifting, drunken chatter

An ignorant head sticking out of a window spewing homosexual slurs

I flinch

Some things don't ever change

I can usually be found looking for something

Not knowing what exactly that something is

But in this moment

Sitting on a wet bench in the city I love with my favorite person

It feels like I've finally found it

Some things do change

I gave to the poor for the first time in years

I feel good, excited, loved

I feel complete

Some things do change

I could cry the moment seems so perfect, but I don't dwell on it

I reminisce with my favorite with my favorite person after the fact

Wishing it didn't have to end

But the time comes for them to leave me, get back to reality

And that means that I do too

Some things do change

But I'm left looking for something again

And I still don't know what it is