Broken Silence

As children, we are always taught

that silence is better than saying things that are "not nice"

As a child, 

my cousin believed that his dad was his savior.

When Dan saw imaginary spiders crawl across his arms

trying to bury themselves into his skin

and lay thousands of eggs in his brain

his dad made him hold a boulder until he 

stopped lying.

As a child,

Dan played with Legos because he didn't have any friend

When his little brother was born

Dan's father saw Logan as a future football star.

My cousin was left to his room with nothing but his precious legos and

a locked door.

As a child,

Dan had trouble with school.

He couldn't focus.

He saw things that weren't really there.

He randomly got angry.

He cried. 

After Dan was diagnosed with 

schizophrenia

ADHD

bipolar disorder

mental afflictions he could not run from,

medicine was constantly pumped into his system.

Medicine that was meant only for adults.

Thousand of miligrams that tried to "fix" him 

to take away his smile.

As a child,

he was punished.

Forced to dig holes

Square holes

In the Arizona desert, 

where the ground was hard and the first layer was rock

and the second layer

and the third layer.

Why?

because he needed to be "fixed"

But Dan cannot be fixed, because 

he is not broken.

Two years ago, Dan's father couldn't handle him anymore.

When Dan went to my school,

people would ask me,

Danielle, are you related to that freak?

I always looked them in the eye

and said no.

I told them that I did not know 

that strange boy dressed as a zombie on a day that wasn't Halloween.

The only thing that connected us was our last names.

Kids mocked him.

They laughed at him.

When threats went around school about a potential shooting,

people assumed that it was my flesh and blood.

They only saw him as crazy.

But yet Dan still smiles.

People labeled him like he was a can of soup that had an expiration date

of yesterday.

How could I turn my back on family?

As a child, 

I used to brush off the spiders.

I gave him Legos.

I patted his back and told him everything will be alright.

I was his friend.

The pride that I was pressured into wasn't something my parents taught me

It was what my friends made me into.

Dan does not care who laughs at him

He doesn't care about the names

thrown behind his back.

As children,

we are taught to keep silent 

when cruel words course through our heads like vipers.

why, as young adults, 

does the silence get broken by words like

"Fag" and "freak" ?

Everyday, 

my broken cousin proves that he is better than me.

He still loves his dad.

He still loves his brother.

He forgives me for turning away from him.

People still try to fix him

But Dan isn't fixable 

because 

Dan

is 

not 

broken.