The Broken Solo

Listening to Beethoven’s 9th,
Hear the music dance,
Rise and the fall,
Stories he had to tell,
Losing his hearing,
Struggles he went through,
Pain he felt.
I know his pain.
I am not deaf,
But I am a musician.
Spending my time listening to classical,
Singing their melody throughout the day,
People stare.
Who is this kid?
Stuck in a time that isn’t his.
I am a musician.
Spending my time in a practice room,
Only place I can get away,
Away from the stares and glares,
The snide remarks,
And reality,
Playing is my escape.
My life is a fugue,
It starts with looks on the bus,
I can hear the whispers, the remarks,
The theme continues in the halls,
I see their stares,
Looking down, hearing laughs while walking away,
The break strain begins in classes,
Everyone ignores me,
My name, mentioned as an insult.
The finale is the ride home,
Where I am tripped on the bus,
Where my case is opened,
And my life, not just my instrument, comes tumbling out.
Picking up the broken pieces,
I wish to live in the world of silence, like Beethoven.
But what is a world without sounds,
Without music,
To live in silence may not be so great,
I am a musician.
I am stuck between movements,
The vivacious introduction,
And the somber ballad,
Waiting in anticipation for my grand finale.
Hoping that one day I get to take the stage, an inspiration to people everywhere.
To say that music is not art,
Music is a being,
A beautiful maiden,
A star-crossed lover,
A vengeful spirit,
An abused youth,
A story,
Who’s ending changes each time it is heard.
But now, I am on a stage,
A stage of humility,
The spotlight on me,
My program contains tears, long days, and lonely nights.
The performance is unheard,
My pleas unanswered.
Every motion I make lost in the void,
An empty space that I alone live in.
No one understands, and why should they?
For I am a musician.
Capable of performing a solo,
No accompaniment.
And no one to cover my sound,
I will sing out.
I listen to Beethoven’s 9th
Still hearing the rise and fall,
But today it is different,
No one longer hearing pain, instead I hear perseverance,
I hear his strength in the face of adversity,
I am inspired.
Facing the opposition I stand my ground,
Placing my whole being into this final performance,
I feel tears,
But,
I am not sad.
I am empowered.
The strength of the orchestra besides me,
Not alone anymore.
I do not need to stand out,
For there are others like me,
Who appreciate my passion and will help me fight these battles.
Playing our victory march we charge,
Charge to a better future,
Where we are not ignored but instead are heard,
One in which we are accepted for who we are,
And are appreciated for the work we do,
The passion we have.
Together we charge into a better future,
We are musicians.

Comments

CalebMar95

I am a high school clarinet player. I am in my senior year and am going to Southwestern University in Georgetown to become a music education major. I want to teach teens to have a passion for music and that music teaches more than just notes and rythms, it gives students life lessons, team building skills, and a place to call home. Music is an art and everyone should get to enjoy it.

CalebMar95

I am a high school clarinet player. I am in my senior year and am going to Southwestern University in Georgetown to become a music education major. I want to teach teens to have a passion for music and that music teaches more than just notes and rythms, it gives students life lessons, team building skills, and a place to call home. Music is an art and everyone should get to enjoy it.

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741