Change is Coming

I can almost hear the whispers in the back of my head,

Those taunting sounds that I despise the most,

Cheeks reddened, eyes shut, fighting away the tears,

Desperately trying to find my breath,

Desperately trying to become unnoticed.

Occasionally glancing at the group of three,

Who all seem to be staring back at me.

Trying to find some way to escape this reality

Aching on the inside,

Shaking on the outside,

I cannot comprehend what is happening.

A tear falls and slides down my cheek.

I put on a smile and say “hey”

Even though my head is some shade of gray.

Shrinking down in my plastic, creaky seat, closing

My eyes and envisioning myself in a 

Happier place, not this.

Sometimes I wonder what it’s like,

What it’s like to be confident,

What it’s like to know that people won’t hurt you,

Won’t put you down for something so frivolous

Something completely out of my control.

In a year they will see,

They will see the transformation of me.

But they will only see the outside.

They did not bother to know me before,

Therefore I will not let them know me after,

Change is Coming.