Childhood

You spent your early days in silence. watching from the sidelines but never really participating. they threw those cruel words at you through whispers behind your back. with your small ears you caught them and like poison, you swallowed them. You shoved them aside and forgot about them. You found joy in the small things. Like the row of ants on their way to work to a job they were given at birth, one that they did not get paid for but were instead guaranteed in return, a purpose, a little niche to fit into in their little ant society. or the bushes you would hide in, the ones you would pretend were your futuristic home, full of branch like levers that operated at your command. or the hole to china that you and your only friend planned to dig with nothing but plastic spoons. that was until she told you that she was moving away, and you broke the plastic spoons in half. this was your first heartbreak. and it was not your last you’d feel this way again in a couple of years when your parents take you to a Chinese restaurant to inform you of bad news and suddenly you have two houses and two separate lives and an unsure idea of what love is. you'd feel this way again when you find your first love and then it fails you you’ll feel this way a lot and you’ll take that feeling like poison and you’ll drink it you’ll shove it aside and forget about it until one day it all builds up and like two plastic spoons you snap.