Drops From a Cloud

Useless

Hopeless,

Worthless, and

Ugly

are only some of the many ways I felt when you put me down.

At first I stayed strong,

believing things could change.

But your words chiseled away at my resistance

until I was left hollow,

hollow like a burnt up tree left to rot

each new name festering inside

until I could no longer bear it,

and sought an escape,

longing to end the pain within the empty shell you created

believing my memory would fall away as quickly as drops from a cloud.

Now I am gone and you act like you don’t know why,

Why I would take such drastic actions.

But you knew.

You knew the smile I wore was only part of a mask

A mask to hide the feelings of self loathing you caused.

Inside you know it’s your fault,

And it’s tearing you apart.

Burrowing deep into your conscience like a ravenous rat,

shredding apart your last bits of self respect as it builds its home

You are drowning in a whirlpool of regret

desperately swimming toward what you think is the surface

only to find its sandy bottom

There is no escape.