Dying Voice

I've heard the voice of sorrow and sadness
But I've only sat within silence almost completely alone.
I have learned from watching others 
That I'm probably the only one who will never change.
I hold everything from the darkest to the most delicate of memories.
I've watched the darkness trying to take everything away
Not only from me but another.
I feel like crying every time I think about it.
Since the voice has disappeared, I feel as though I'm the one lost.
Missing a beat of my heart is one thing that can always be repaired
But losing a friend is something that stays shattered.
Time may heal wounds but nothing can fix how everyone perceives someone.
I wasn't watching as much as I should have been 
Because once I looked again there was almost nothing left of him.
A shell of his old self was all that stood before me
And I've held that over my own self. 
Darkness finished him off within a year of me not watching or helping.
I'm afraid of the future as of this point although he got away from the pain,
He has shown and kinda said it himself in the past that he wanted to die.
I know if it happens for real then whenever I find out I will probably be the one to break.