e r a s e d

hm. It's like your words are e r a s e d, but mine aren't, mine were all true. in fact they're still in all the letters I gave you, or, what? did you just e r a s e those too? so tell me your apologies, and at this point, I just don't think I can believe you. But of course, this was something you chose to do. so were all of the things you told me late at night even true? will april 29th be the day I yearly rue? will the color of brown in your eye forever be my favorite hue? I saw you talking and laughing with the girl I always worried about, but that's not the main thing that bothered me, it's what you said to her, so loud: "send that to me, alright?" that's when the knots in my stomach twisted much too tight. she has your number? huh? oh- yeah.. that's- that's just fine... why is she messing with a boy that's so clearly mine? I mean he's not necessarily mine, not anymore, well it's fine- who's even actually actively keeping score?? I am. "who did you talk with the most today?" "how many times did you accidentally make eye contact with me, then quickly look away" I know the answers to the questions and more because: I. still. care. I notice how when you're nervous, you try and fix or play with your hair. Your words might've been e r a s e d, they could've just been said so flat. but my words were written in pen and you can't e r a s e that.