Epiphany

Your mockery blasts through the air,

An explosion that decimates the ground under my feet.

As I fall into the void of misery,

Spiraling evermore downward,

I look up to see your face

Etched into the very sky of my mind.

Time seems to lose its potency

As I contemplate the oh so familiar features

That stare down at me in derision.

But as I look closer,

I can see traces of uncertainty

Sparking in the cold, otherwise empty abysses of your eyes.

And I can see the way they occasionally flicker,

Almost nervously taking in our surroundings,

Keeping a wary vigil for any passersby in the hallway.

And I can hear a strain to keep the power

In your rough, scornful voice.

I cringe away from these features,

My own distorted by anxiety and disgust,

But the more I look

The more I can see that your face is just human—

Cruel, cold, and distant—

But still holding the vulnerability of the human race.

And I realize something profound,

As an earthquake of insight shakes my world;

You are scared too—

Scared of what I might have done,

Scared of what you think I could still do,

And although I know that I am powerless

To make you answer for your brutalities,

You do not.

And this slightly alters my perception;

Now you do not loom so largely over me,

Now you cannot take me down with a single word,

Now you still make me anxious

And drive me to tears

And haunt my dreams

And make my days a living hell

With the paranoia that builds up walls around my heart,

But you no longer scare me

Because although I know I do not have the power,

I now recognize you do not either.