Epiphany
Your mockery blasts through the air,
An explosion that decimates the ground under my feet.
As I fall into the void of misery,
Spiraling evermore downward,
I look up to see your face
Etched into the very sky of my mind.
Time seems to lose its potency
As I contemplate the oh so familiar features
That stare down at me in derision.
But as I look closer,
I can see traces of uncertainty
Sparking in the cold, otherwise empty abysses of your eyes.
And I can see the way they occasionally flicker,
Almost nervously taking in our surroundings,
Keeping a wary vigil for any passersby in the hallway.
And I can hear a strain to keep the power
In your rough, scornful voice.
I cringe away from these features,
My own distorted by anxiety and disgust,
But the more I look
The more I can see that your face is just human—
Cruel, cold, and distant—
But still holding the vulnerability of the human race.
And I realize something profound,
As an earthquake of insight shakes my world;
You are scared too—
Scared of what I might have done,
Scared of what you think I could still do,
And although I know that I am powerless
To make you answer for your brutalities,
You do not.
And this slightly alters my perception;
Now you do not loom so largely over me,
Now you cannot take me down with a single word,
Now you still make me anxious
And drive me to tears
And haunt my dreams
And make my days a living hell
With the paranoia that builds up walls around my heart,
But you no longer scare me
Because although I know I do not have the power,
I now recognize you do not either.