Fight the Fear

Palms sweating,

Heart racing,

Mind worrying,

Can’t go, won’t go, don’t make me go;

Not to that hell hole full of

Anxiety,

Insecurity,

Fear,

Put on a smile, force a laugh, make them believe;

Believe that I’m ok

That the words they say

Aren’t a stab in the gut,

That the looks they give

Aren’t a dagger to the heart

Believe that I am

Unaffected,

Undazed,

Unconcerned

When really,

Deep down

I am anxious, stressed, and about to give up

I fear death

Yet I fear you more

My time here feels pointless

I am not living, simply existing

Day in, day out

Everything is the same

Nothing matters anymore

Only moments from death

I am so close I can feel the taste of it on my lips

I am so close

Stop

I must fight through,

I cannot give up,

I cannot give in,

If I give up then,

They win

I will never give them the satisfactory

of knowing

That I am broken

I am broken, but I can be fixed

I can fix myself

Not to become their standards,

But to set my own,

To love myself,

To learn to accept the way life is

I am a budding flower

My story is only beginning

And it will be

Amazing