I am a WARRIOR!!

For years I’ve been denying who I am, for years I’ve chained the beast that is my soul to prevent myself from hurting everyone in my wake. Every day my soul tries to break free of the chains that binds it. Every day I struggle to suppress the anger, the sorrow, and pain from escaping my body.

People are blessed to have a blissful sleep. But as the night grows bigger, and as they trail off into dreams, I am awake, scared to slumber. My dreams are rarely pleasant, but are mainly pain and suffering, unable to stop it. Every time I wake from my slumber, I question my sanity.

For years, I’ve portrayed myself as happy, loved, and sane, but underneath it all is a demon waiting to consume my mind and soul. It is waiting to destroy my life of lies and deception I created to hide the pain. I wondered whether if the demon underneath is the true me or if the person I am now is me.

I might be a demon who sets blazing fires wherever I step and causes pain and sorrow to whoever is near my presence. Like a double-sided blade, whenever I harm someone, I feel twice as much pain I inflict; the initial pain and the pain I feel when I harm my loved ones.

As I grow up, I learn that only strength will survive and weakness will be devoured. I was young and innocent, but back then I denied who I am. I was a wolf in sheep's clothing, hiding and deceiving everyone around me. But then someone showed everyone the wolf underneath.

Now I am branded a monster. I realize now, I’m not a monster. I am a WARRIOR that survived an 11 year battle of bullying. At first I was ashamed of the scars I was branded for being weak. Now I embrace them, so everyone sees what I’ve fought through to survive, to show I am not weak, but strong.

I am a warrior who will protect my loved ones at any cost, even if it means it’ll cost me my life. I will be their shield from harm, pain, and sorrow so they will never feel what I feel.

I am someone who wants to smile, to be happy, to not worry about fighting the next battle. To cry with happiness instead of sadness. I am a warrior who is waiting to be set free from the pain and sorrow.