I'm Okay

I'm okay.
On the outside anyway.
I am just dying on the inside while faking my happy.
That’s why I tend to stay away from people.
Apparently to you & them too will say "You're wanted." Even though, you'll lie to my face & turn around & say "She's not wanted in our group."
I'm the kind of person who will just stand and take what you tell me, just so you won't think any less of me.
It gets to me, it hurts but.. after the words are said, there's no taking it back. Sometimes I fake that I'm okay.
I'm a disappointment. Even though, people close to me say other wise.
I act like I'm not an emotional wreck & hold back tears. Even though, I break down every night.
Ironic right? 

I have scars mentally because of people who have made wounds in my head & heart with their words of hate.
Ironic right? How you'll put me down to my face & behind my back but, want me to come hang cause, you "didn't mean it." 

I'm okay. Even though, I'm really not.

If you didn't mean it then, why'd you say it? If you didn't think it's funny, then why'd you laugh at it? 
If you don't like the way people treat me then, stop being like them. It's so ironic how you'll sit there & defend me but, turn right back around & make fun of me the same way those others do.

Those same people put me down & lie to my face about all of it, tell me they're proud of me infront of some but, once we're alone, going home, they'll tell me how I really did.
Ironic right? 
How those people will lie to your face just so secretly they'll call you a disgrace. 
Ironic how those same people will mock you & mentally abuse you till you just hide the pain, get used to people betraying you so much that you just tell people;
"I'm okay."