Is It Me or Them?

If I am trained to believe If I am forced to worship If I am told I am sinful, poor and miserable If I live a forced life in the "true faith" Is it my faith? Or is it their faith I am made to live in? Do I believe? Or is it that if I lead a believers life I will end up believing? If I say the words and sing the songs Am I as "holy" as they are? Each day we pray and pledge Speaking words engraved in our head Do we even think of the meaning As we give our life away through these spoken words? I don't know what I am believing in at this point Is it truly God? Or is it their way of seeing God? What if God doesn't care how they light the candles? What if he truly cares how people see him? What if he wants true believers And not a mindless army who doesn't even understand what they "believe" in Knowledge is power So why do they leave us all unarmed? I want knowledge I want to understand they way I choose to I want answers to the questions they brush off And I want to believe I want what they describe I hope that it is true But if it isn't true What kind of joke is it? What hole did they lead us down? Why am I being led somewhere I am not remotely aware of When I can choose another path? Is it just me? Or am I already too far down the way they chose for me Trained to obey them like a dog To serve a God I don't understand?