Life is One Big Sham.

I scream and cry,

And yet I am never heard, 

No matter how hard I try.

You look down at me,

Your face blurred,

By the tears in my eyes.

And yet I don't say a word.

My scream are silent;

My pain unheard, unseen.

No matter how hard I try.

I beg to my parents, my teachers, my peers.

But they turn a blind eye.

They don't see what I see--what you don't let them see.

They don't hear what I hear--what they refuse to hear.

They don't feel what I feel--a never ending abyss of pain,

Of misery. Of hurt.

They turn a blind eye.

No matter how hard I try.

Thus, my screams are silenced,

My pain looked down upon.

Some days I plaster a smile upon,

my sad face.

Others I cry.

And sometimes I hate.

But always, always I try.

I try to fight.

I glare. I beg. I threaten.

But it all falls on deaf ears,

No matter how hard I try.

And so, the thoughts came,

As I shrank under their reproachful

looks and glares.

Thoughts that said no one cares.

Thoughts that insisted I fall under an

Intercate spell of despair.

I scoffed; I laughed.

But,

 No matter what,

They were always there.

Hence, under It's hateful glare,

I stumbled to the bathroom,

Listening to the words that said,"Life is unfair."

My hand fumbled,

Searching for the razor,

For I knew it was there.

And then, in a blur, it was in my shaking hand,

gleaming in a mocking way,

As if it knew today was the day,

The day me resolve finally gave away. 

Trembling, I pressed it to the cold flesh of my arm.

Blood leaked out as I brought myself to harm.

It hurt, but not like the the vicious blows,

Or the words that were an all-time low.

The nasty voice sighed;

I cried.

And, as crisim splashed in the sink,

I nearly smiled.

Although Heaven or Hell awaited my anticipate arrival,

I thought,"I'm finally free."

And then I laughed and I laughed,

For what a relief it will be!

Then I stumbled,

And I knew that was Death's infamous leer.

I slumped to the ground, 

my mind suddenly a turmoil of fear.

And, with closed eyes, I reminded myself that I tried.

I really, really did try.

And suddenly a sob escaped my aching throat.

It hung in the silent bathroom, an ungrateful croak.

The bloodied blade slipped out of my hand,

Right as the bathroom door banged open, 

Moments before I breached unmarked land.

A man stood silent and still,

A silhouette against the bright hall, 

Before he yelled in alarm

And francatly stretched out his arm.

I cried then, freely, with no shame.

For I thought I'd nothing left--

Yet here was this wonderous man.

And as I slipped into unconsciousness,

Feeling as if life was one big sham,

I mouthed 5 silent words,

Willing him  to understand,

"I tried. I really did."