Life War

My heart pumped 

while gunshots fired machine gun fast

I prayed that my mind

would not be shredded

and filled with shrapnel and shot

I could feel my painted smile

my war paint

start to melt off

And I

Shot

back

I shot words of

hate

malice

sarcasm

and 

blunt insults

and I don't just shoot my enemies.

I shoot at my friends

my families

and anyone 

who 

I 

think

is trying 

to 

hurt me

My war paint is all gone now

so look

look at the face that

has been through

life and death

sorrow and misery

happiness and joy

just enough so that I have hope

that just keeps getting crushed beneath the feet

of people doing the same as I am 

I already know the things your telling me

I know I'm fat

I know I'm ugly

I know I'm crazy

I know I'm too bold

too hard

too sarcastic

too loud

too much

I know

I know 

Oh I know it quite well

because that

is all

you ever

say.

I guess it's fair though

after all life's a war.