A life without Acceptance isn't worth Living

You were proud of me when I wasn’t proud of you

When I was little you said look at what you can be

I said I don’t want to be you

Growing up with all the lies I learned to despise always wanting to revise you

I was tired of the way we lived so I did my best to give

But no matter how much I gave to church they couldn’t remove the hurt

That’s because it wasn’t just some pain that could simply be healed away

It came from deep within and was guarded by all my sin

No matter how hard I tried it stuck along for the ride

I began to let it choose my paths and control my life

I hid from others so that their glares could not reach me

I buried myself six feet under that way no one could hear my cry

I was alone and afraid...

Everywhere I looked there was a closed door

But when the window opened up I was to afraid of heights to jump out

You see the hurt wasn’t that bad but the fear it gave me was

The fear of new hurt

I began closing doors that were cracked open, slamming shut windows that let in the breeze, hiding from life itself

At this point in my life I looked at myself with discus

The blood ran down my wrist as I cried out for help

But there was no one to save me

I cried out to God asking "Why!"

Then when another door flung open

But when I looked out nobody was there, so I slammed back shut

A life of shut doors is not a life worth living

But when I tried to open any of them it always felt as if others were pulling it shut on the other side

Why does the world have to hate me?

I began to ponder the meaning of life

But what I found was meaningless

I looked at the celebrities, but they had no hope for me

I looked for love, but the world had none for me

I looked for salvation, but God was too good for me

I looked for a reason to live, but I found nothing

I needed help It’s not like I burned down any bridges

But not building a bridge is just as bad as burning one down

I followed light to the end of the tunnel

To break free from the darkness is what I wanted right?

Well the light seemed to get farther away as I moved towards it

I began to run, but the tunnel felt as if it was closing in

Then finally everything I was looking for was right in front of me

The light...

My chains were broken I was set free!

That’s when I realized the light was not the end of the tunnel but a train

The same train that shut all of my doors

The same train that was the root of all my fear

The same train that held the doors shut when I tried to open them

The same train that told me no one could ever love me

The same train—

When I was in that tunnel and the train came at me I knew it was the end of me

I stood there on the tracks watching it come my way

I was powerless I began to feel fatigue, my legs lost the strength to stand, my arms tried to reach out to God but they couldn’t

There I was on the ground ready for certain death

But as I looked a little closer the train didn’t quite resemble a train anymore

My arms gained back their strength and I called out to God

What he said back scared me

Because what he said made me entire life a lie

The doors were never held shut

The window was not that high

There was love for me

Everything I once knew was not what I thought

God did have a savior for me, and his name is Jesus Christ

What did God tell me?

It may be a bit surprising how simple it was

He told me to take a closer look at the train

The one thing that I blamed all my problems on

And when I took a closer look at the train it was actually a mirror and what I seen in the mirror was my reflection