Listen

Sh, listen. Just Be Quiet, please? Just a second. Come on, it’s short. SHUT UP! Still nothing? Ok….. 7 Years 7 Years since I uttered a sound 7 years since I believed to make my opinion known 7 years since my voice plagued the ears of others 7 years of class shrugs and shaking head. Neck stiff w/ prickling, so often do I exercise it to avoid using vocal chords that have probably withered away anyway- being a rainbow in the desert. No one to view, to examine, to query. Depressed, the rainbow trudges away, limps really w/ such an injured pride. Never bothering to show its face again. 7 years. A seemingly long time, actually quite simple. Just work, eat, and exercise, and sleep. Like a camera taking a picture. Warm up, warm up, Flash! Then those extra seconds to make sure the subject was done justice. Yupp, that fast…. A mosaic my days blend, a tie die of avoidance, silence, and forced business. 7 years. Were life a road, id be turning on the highway. As a race, it just hit its first turn. The appetizer was just wolfed down, more expected to come. All this time, I exist as a fox. Silent, stealthy, blending in, just striving to continue unnoticed. Why couldn’t you just pay me mind? Give me your attention for one pitiful moment A split second is all I begged… I get it, I learned my lesson. I realize my place, and I understand my worth … or lack thereof. Why couldn’t you simply listen? Didn’t I have a voice? An opinion? Any importance at all? … guess not Well, doesn’t matter,,, anymore Here is your day tomorrow Saunter into class. A molasses of carelessness weighing down your feet. “Hey, wheres SF?” asks a somebody nobody. SF, Silent Freak, as I am affectionately referred to by my peer strangers. Shaken as a ball from a lottery basket, the teacher slowly, quietly, meticulously announces the loss of one close to your group. Don’t worry, the pun continues in its irony. “Taking away existence by his own hand, we have this scrap, a plethora of words that can barely sum up a life.” This is a falseness used to calm your consciousness. I know your innocent. Just like the tick. It cant help that it’s a blood sucking disgrace to the world only to end up under the heel of a boot. Its just what it is. Being read the scrap I had closest at hand at that moment, you will be reminded my given name for the 1st time in almost a decade, not your personal self-serving label. Tear covered and screaming a solemn cry, the note reads, “I spoke today. The first time n 7 years. Harsh, raspy, strenuous it was. Painful with every sound filled exhale. Given a moment, it cleared. I heard it, my voice. Reverberations of my own creation. Suiting the moment, I sang a song” the death note asterisked here for unknown importance. “Experimenting w/ the voice I believed lost, crushed, nonexistent, The 20 second melody, the tiny tune of tranquility, as horrific and blood letting as it was, touched me deeper than any sensual brushings from a woman could, moved me more than the prospect of that finite connection and game me more satisfaction than any potentially earth shattering orgasm could offer. But, like incredibly uncomparable event, this came to fruition, then ceased. No evidence of its initial appearance apart from the crashing waves and hurricane of emotions smacking and conflicting in my soul. Satisfied, my mouth only opened once afterwards, to receive my cold forbidden friend. Anyway, I sincerely thank thee for listening,,, finally. I am sure moments from now life will continue, this memory erased, only to continue on unburdened, oblivious of this unfortunate interruption. Silent, unobtrusive, a reflecting pool mimicking the last 7 years. Thanks And in the subscript, the starred song mentioned-Happy Birthday to me