Non linear

I don’t wanna drink, or partake in glorious mind-bending substances. I don’t wanna ignore life, or the finer tiny details ignored by most. I want to live. I want to feel. I want to be alive. I wanna face reality for what it is— And not refined to fragmented molecules to make my atoms vibrate positively. I am fearful, Yet ego carries me on. I’m unsure, Yet your perception is redirected. I’m indecisive, Yet criticized quietly for my decisions. But at least I know I don’t wanna be blended, Yet it’s so hard to combine us all. A wise man once told me: The truth will hurt you. Whether it’s a person, Whether it’s a distraction, Even a stray thought, Perhaps even shattering truth. I’d rather be ripped apart by the hands pulling at me from the darkness behind the walls, Than sit in the comfort of this pocket dimension. Sitting with the static, And the grainy surrounding, And a smell all so familiar. I’d rather have control than have little me run the show. Yet sometimes an endless party sounds fun for the temporary thoughts that I can’t seem to share. But it’s okay to feel emotions right, or just linearly?