Shunned and Weak

Location

38115
United States
35° 2' 59.0964" N, 89° 51' 35.5032" W

I hear them laugh and joke and play.
I see their smiles as clear as day.

They’re talking to their "BFFs".
While they dance and sing, I’m by myself.

I want to be a different girl.
I want it more than all the world.

I feel trapped in a turbulent sea
Because none of them see me.

If they do, they choose to ignore
The girl quietly reading in a corner.

They talk about me… or maybe they don’t.
I’m not important enough for their thoughts.

I want to talk to them; I want them to hear.
I’m not so different from those stand there.

I want them to acknowledge me, to listen when I speak.
I want them to accept me like the shore accepts the sea.

Am I made of glass? Am I just transparent?
Am I a wondering spirit that never made its way to heaven?

Am I paying penance for past sins throughout eternity?
No. I’m just me.

I feel tortured in the silence I endure.
I want to tear my hair out and rage at human nature.

Why do I feel this need to belong? What good will it do me?
Will it replace the loneliness with security?

Will it take away years of hurt and neglect
And exchange it with something I dare not expect?

Will it vanquish the savage anger stored in my soul?
Will it dismiss the self-pity and woe?

Will it lay the shame and disgust to rest?
Will it bring back emotions I no longer feel but can never forget?

Will I finally feel whole, complete,
Or will it remind me of what I am, weak?

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