Testimony

Location

98204
United States
47° 54' 31.77" N, 122° 16' 5.2032" W

When I go meet God,
I'm gonna have to give myself up to you.
Lose my life,
lose my heart,
lose my soul!

I have been dirty
and broken
and don't deserve your love.

Now mom, dad, Jojo,
I haven't told you all the truth.

I have been low and broken,
I almost took that knife
and cut and cut.
I wanted to hurt,
I just wanted to feel something!

Every time I was alone I wanted it
all to end.
“You are never alone”
the pastor spoke
behind the pulpit.
“You don't know how it feels to be so utterly alone.”

Like a clay pot
I was fragile and empty,
nothing to live for.

Now I had no hope,
no reason to stay here,
nobody cared for me!!

God why didn't you answer my prayers?!

Now I picked up that knife
and lifted the blade like a guillotine,
screaming, “I am coming to you!”
But when it almost touched the skin,
images passed through my mind.
A life where a mom lost her son and cried every night,
where a dad didn't have a young man
to listen to his stories about computers and Matchbox Twenty,
and where a sister didn't have a brother to pick on
and to argue with about the mildest, smallest, thing.

Now life is different guys,
there is another chance for me.
O thank you GOD I am here!
Thank you for not giving up on me
even when I spat in your face
and left you!

Thank you for the people in life around me!
I could have ran away from everything,
I could have blown out the fire,
but you wouldn't let me God.
Oh thank you God for not letting me.

I would never have seen two new lives
come into the world,
nor ever have heard my dad say those sweet words
“I am proud of you”…
The feel of a guitar under my arm
as I recreate what goes on in me.
The taste of the words of a song
that echo off the walls in front of me.
Oh God thank you for redemption!
Just thank you...

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