Under My Material Things

There are those same brown eyes that stare back at me in the mirror every day

Happy? I don’t know, but I could fool anyone

I sometimes stand emotionless and empty inside, but appear complete on the outside

Yes I have clothes on my back, but they’re not brand name worthy

I have shoes, but only wear two or three pairs

I sometimes wear jewelry, but nothing fancy

I always do my hair whether it’s curling it or straightening it

I also always put on my make up like every other girl does

But everyone knows material things can’t define you

They can label, cover, mask, and hide you

What’s beneath it all?

Fear, the fear of not being enough for the eyes of people who have yet to understand or know me

Insecurity of falling short due to being tested of my weaknesses

Not being smart enough, I’m only a B average student and don’t have scholarship offers from big time universities

Not being pretty enough, I’m not one of the popular pretty girls and I don’t have boys crawling after me

 Not being good enough, I’ve experienced the feeling of failure and watched my peers achieve what I want

I’m completely bare of all the material things of this life and stand alone with only my heart and mind to offer in my hands

And feel disliked, unwelcomed, rejected

It’s all heartbreaking, the world’s greatest tragedy

So I go back and hide behind it all

My clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, and fixed hair

And I ask myself, are you happy yet?

I don’t know, but I could fool anyone,

Just not myself.