Without

We don't chill anymore
We rarely talk
I'm barely here
I've moved away emotionally

The laughter in your presence is forced
My love for you
Tainted with remorse
Sits upon a shelf labeled fragile

The broken trust
Irreplaceable
Lies shattered and irretrievable
Like crumbles dust tossed in the wind

A tender repair
With no way to mend
I loved you
But in loving you without myself, lost you
Attempted to move on

Where once were two pairs of embracing hearts
There are now only parts
Moving forward in gangly disassemble
Tentative in step I slowed
As you dragged me forward

I loved you both
So that when you found each other
Found pleasure in shared love
Somehow in loving you both

Dis-earned both loves
And a heart without love has no life
It shivers for lack of warmth
Beating a dirge rhythm
Awaiting a new awakening

I love you both
As any heart from afar
May project the love it wishes to bestow
We don't chill anymore
As much from lack of a complete heart
As lack of a reaching embrace

We were friends once
Yet here in this barren iced plain
Is buried my half heart
Removed from past and future mistakes
Removed from love