Before
Every Easter, (sorry every American Easter)
I would get in a car and sit there for 4 hours
We would leave really early, before the sun comes up
And drive and drive and drive until we got to the next state over
It felt like I was sitting in the car for years
Though I slept most of the time and I was very young
I still remember getting out of the car and you coming outside and looking so happy to see us
But that was before you got sick
We would spend all of Easter day together with the family
You had set up an Easter egg hunt for all of us kids
And I was in an outfit that dad had picked out (he was so proud of himself)
A pink shirt and a green skirt with matching shoes
I remember you used to fill the eggs with coins instead of candy
But that was before you got sick
I vividly remember standing in the tiny living room with no place to move
Too much furniture and decor and too little space for it all
11 cats was also a bit much but you loved them all
Well maybe Feister and Spirit a little more than the others
You had a waterbed in your room that was my favorite to nap on
I had to make sure the cats didn’t get on it or else it would pop
But that was before you got sick
As I got older we stopped seeing you for Easter
You and dad got in a fight and didn’t speak for years
We kept receiving porcelain dolls and other Native American trinkets though
You made sure we didn’t forget our heritage
But that was before you got sick
You stopped sending gifts
You stopped calling
Dad got worried
I remember him so angry and crying when you told him
As if there was something he could do to prevent it
There was no cure
He tried his hardest though
He researched for days
He called doctors all over the world to try to get you into experimental trials
Money was no object
He apologized so many times for not speaking to you for all those years
You forgave him
A call in the middle of the night
You were gone
Dad cried for days
We arrived at the funeral home to find you laying there so peacefully
As I sat there for hours mourning over you
Hundreds of people came through the door and introduced themselves to me
“Your grandma gave me a place to live when I had nowhere to go” they said
“She took me in as one of her own” another said
Why did I never know you did such amazing things?
Why were there so many things about you I wasn’t told?
Hundreds of people came to say goodbye because they knew you so personally
People said great things and beautiful things all day about you
Dad nodded politely as tears poured down his face
I give blood in hopes that maybe I’ll be able to save someone else’s loved one some day
That I’ll be able to help put a stop to this
Dad curses the world that you were taken from him
I still see him cry every so often
He used to be so happy and full of life
But that was before you got sick