testing
where do i start
writing this is meaningless
that seems like as good a place as any
just because ive dealt with things doesnt make me special
everyone has their own demons
mine are simply my own and no one elses
no one dealt with things exactly how i dealt with mine
no one was created exactly how i was created
everyone is different
even twins
by a few cells at least
i cant blame anyone else for the fact that
my insides were formed broken
that they broke on the impact
of that first blood flow
and kept breaking as it went on
i did nothing to myself that made this happen
i just grew normally outside while my organs writhed within
it wasnt the surgeons fault that fixing what could be seen
only left the things unseen
to grow and ache and scream their agony into my nerves
its not my fault that i have to take the pills
not my fault that im terrified to have children
because of the fear that my twisted womb would kill them before they could live
none of this is any excuse to blame others or myself
i could
but i wont