Nina Campos

Once you said goodbye

 

I smiled

 

I watched you walk away as my happiness grew

 

 

I took the next bus as quick as I could 

 

And when I looked around

 

You weren't in sight

 

Because now I didn't have to hear your lies

 

Now I didn't have to hear your voice

 

See you

 

Once you announced you were leaving

 

I quickly dumped my belongings and my emotions in a suitcase

 

I didn't have to live with you anymore

 

I didn't have to fight with you anymore

 

And I didn't have to put up with all of your bullshit

 

I was only three years old when I said I've had enough of you

 

At that moment, I closed my heart and made a stone cold covering over it

 

Whenever you said I love you? I would've tried to understand but right after you say that you start yelling at someone

 

You always blamed the person I called mommy

 

My dad always defended you against me

 

And I? Was the only child at home

 

My brother stood up for you

 

The maids kept quiet just to keep their jobs

 

The two beings in this universe who always stood up for me are your husband and my dog

 

But after He died in 2006, and after she died this year in 2016,

 

No one would stand up for me in your face

 

You never let me live like other kids would

 

You never let me touch a butterfly

 

You never let me joke around

 

When I was 4, 7, 8, and 10 years old

 

You made me feel useless

 

You made me feel unwanted

 

You made me feel like no one cared about me

 

You made me hate you

 

I promised myself I'd never hate anyone 

 

But that's impossible because of you

 

But now that I'm older, I can stand up for myself, and I have a choice to keep you in my life or shove my memories of you in a trash can

 

So once you said goodbye, I made sure you disappeared from my life forever

 

And once you say goodbye, that's the best part

 

Because once you say goodbye, you won't ever come back