Fearless
I am terrified to talk to you
Looking at you reminds me of
Everything you’ve done wrong and
Everything I’ve done wrong and
The gap that keeps widening
Between Us
I am afraid of losing you
But I am also
Afraid of
Reconnecting
I’m afraid of getting attached
Like I did before
I’m afraid of being hurt again
Really,
I am afraid to trust anyone
I am afraid to trust you
And I wonder how foolish that sounds
Because I know how deeply I wish I could trust you
I am debilitated by this fear
And I hate that I am not over it by now
I hate that it has been two years and
I can barely look at you without
Thinking of how awful you made me feel
I wish I could have courage
I wish I could be brave and just talk to you
Without feeling like a failure
But I am so
Afraid of being hurt
And I hate that I’m not over it
I don’t know how I could be
You asked me what I call courage
The first thing out of my mouth
Is “fear”