It is a feeling disguised as the pang of emptiness in your stomach

It is suffocation, and an elephant sitting on your chest.

It is numbing yourself to everything in relation so you won’t slip up once reminded.

It is the permanent reminder that nothing has changed, there is no difference between the old and the new, one has taken disguise as the other.

It is avoidance, running for miles in bare feet on eggshells and broken glass.

It is repetition and rote.

It is wanting to crawl away and hibernate.

For the moment, it feels like exhaustion.

It hurts.

Every part of me aches.

I am told that this will not last.

If that is true, why does it hurt so bad when it comes back?